1. You’re forced to work overtime without extra pay.
  2. You’re not learning any new skills.
  3. You cry when you wake up in the morning.
  4. Every time you enter a room, you hear one of your colleagues say ‘Be quiet! Fishfuck is here!’ in a stage whisper.
  5. Your commute involves flying over a poisonous lake on the back of a giant pelican.
  6. You spontaneously erupt into a demonic incantation when your spouse asks how your day was.
  7. The IT-support guy has a fetus tattoo on his belly and tells everyone you’re the father.
  8. You’re one of only three people issued with a ticket in Friday’s crucifixion lottery.